God hurt me yesterday. He showed me just a little how my love is weak... How my love is so often empty... How what I call love... is not love at all... it is selfishness disquised within duty.
I realized that I feel guilty a lot because I see love as a balance - you know... like the balance in Montey Python's Search for the Holy Grail where they see if the "witch" weighs the same as a duck... That's how I saw love.
Sometimes I thought the goal was to have the scale balanced in relationships... sometimes I felt like I should always have my side tipped a bit heavier full of lovely actions... either way, my goal produced guilt, awkwardness, and emptiness... it did not reflect true love.
You see... God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners... still in our sin... still dirty... still making ourselves enemies of Yahweh... Christ died for us. There is no scale for that love.
If we have a scale to measure our love against others, then our love is blackened by self. Every action is measured up against the actions of others. We are consumed with self. We are consumed with outward things. God looks into our hearts, and he desires us to do the same. We love the leper not because the leper is lovely... just as God loves us.
We are going to be discussing love the next few wednesday evenings. I pray that our ideas and goals of love will be uprooted by God, and that He will plant a new and fresh seed of love in our hearts. That we would carry His kind of love to the world... That we would leave empty religion and actions behind... and be marked by love... just as the Holy Trinity is love... that each of us would be marked by love, and so as Christ's body here and now... we would be love to a suffering world.
In Christ's Love,
Nick
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